Lots of us are motivated by what we don’t have. We spend huge amounts of time and effort trying to fill in the cracks, trying to get to that satisfied feeling of “enough” and finding that certain someone what fulfills us or fills in the place where we need something because there’s longing…. It’s a romantic notion on the one hand and on the other it sounds like a YouTube video of a sheetrocker who has misplaced his spackle. It’s like these lives are walls with dings and holes and cracks which need to be repaired in order to be whole or at least look like it.
But what if what’s missing isn’t missing? What if Dorothy is right and everything we have ever wanted is right in our backyard? This is about being grateful or satisfied with the life we already have and start wanting. It’s about stopping the search to find someone else to give us what we want or to make us into who we should be. A soul mate doesn’t make you satisfied with life, they challenge you to become who you’re supposed to be. Having the right job or the right house or living in the right area doesn’t solve your problems, you do. No magic wand will poof solutions into existence for you, you have to be willing to make the magic within yourself.
If you want someone in your life who just gets you, who loves who you are, who enjoys your company and wants to share all of the amazing things you do, start by being that person. Want someone who will stick up for you, support you in the challenges of life, gives until it hurts to make a life with you that is fabulous, be that person. Be your own soul mate. Be the person you want to have a relationship with and have the relationship you’ve always wanted. One that is brutally honest, that works to keep you from self sabotage, that prods you to do what you know is hard but best, and thrills when you succeed in your goals, shares in all your joys, and revels in your happiness.
When you can do that, partner opportunities will come out of the woodwork. People don’t want to be your spackle, so don’t use them that way. Be not only whole but fabulously rich with life and people will come to bask in your glow and even increase it with their own.
