Some relationships are toxic. This is not to blame the other person or people involved, it’s not to say that the choices that got everyone there were wrong or mistaken, nor that the actions were either. However you got there, the relationship brings out the worst results for your and possibly for everyone, and nothing you do is going to fix it.
That’s the hardest part of the whole thing, that last statement. Nothing you do is going to fix it. Many of us really want the best outcome to occur in all situations and put effort into fixing things. But the situation doesn’t get fixed. In fact, it just gets worse. Or it just makes more hurt for you that then needs fixing. Things cycle down and down and down. At some point, there needs to be a resolution that the situation is toxic. Being in it, interacting with it, being involved in it at all does more harm than good and the best thing for everyone is to walk away.
But walking away can have such negative connotations. Western society loves underdogs, sees quitting as negative, and admires perseverance and overcoming the odds and adversity. It can be difficult to see walking away, removing yourself from the situation, or ending a relationship as a positive action instead of a negative one. However, knowing when to end things is just as necessary a skill as knowing when to ‘stay in it to win it’. It’s true that life can sometimes end up being a Kenny Rogers song: You goto know when to hold ’em…
