People do loooooove their opposites and absolutes. Either things will go well or I’ll fall into abject poverty. I’ll either win the lottery or be forced to slave at a low wage job forever. I’ll either find the woman of my dreams or I’ll have to settle for whoever comes along, because being lonely is the worst thing that can ever happen to me. All the absolutes and opposites. I often talk to my clients and students about how we set up false dichotomies like this. We love there to be only two options. Like we’re still two years old and have to be shown only two shirts to choose from or we become overwhelmed and have a meltdown. It’s comforting to have such limited options. It simplifies things. It’s no more real than the situation our parents have set up for us. We probably have a drawer full of shirts and a closet full of outfits (hand me down or not, second-hand or designer, it doesn’t matter. Don’t judge.) but to keep us from the meltdown our parent(s) narrow things down.
Well, comfort is one thing, but at some point we need to expand our horizons just a bit. For instance, this dichotomy of living via inspiration vs. living a productive and responsible life. I tease people about these two cartoon characters we have in our heads: the flaky artist and the corporate drone. We set these two up as complete opposites and then proceed as if this is true and model our decisions around things. You can only be one or the other. You can be spiritual OR you can hold a challenging corporate job. You can follow your path and be happy but poor and struggling or you can have a stable job that kills your soul but pays the bills. It’s all toddler fiction. Life is far more rich in variation than that. I personally held high level corporate positions while working with my elders and the community, going through intense ceremonies, doing deep personal healing, and living for 7 years in prayer. I didn’t break anything, nothing exploded that I’m aware of, and I didn’t at any time start bleeding internally. No coworkers were harmed in the process….no coworkers were physically harmed in the process. (I can get snappish when I’m overworked or stressed and a couple of well placed truths might have escaped. It was a long time ago. I’m sure we all past it.)
Living an inspired life doesn’t mean letting go of common sense, it doesn’t mean becoming flaky, it doesn’t mean you need to spout a bunch of lingo and start living a certain lifestyle. It doesn’t necessarily mean quitting your job, running off to another country to study a new religion, taking on a new profession, or diving into an entirely new type of service. What it does mean is listening each day to what is going on for you. It means that while you know there’s a logical way to prioritize things, that might not be the best and most fulfilling way to get things done. With a small adjustment, doing something today that you would have done later in the week, allows you to enjoy your day, be productive, get a break from the routine, and just that small amount of space you’ve carved out to attend to who you are makes it possible for you to enjoy life a bit more and walk a little further on your path. So look to where and how you’re setting yourself up with comforting but limiting absolutes and opposites. Box those up and put them away. You’re not a toddler any more. You can handle a few more options…
