Here’s a general rule of thumb: If you chose this life, not to learn about suffering but for personal growth and/or a life of service, then the purpose of your life is to be happy. If you aren’t happy, you’re doing it wrong.
Sounds very bourgeoisie I know, but it’s true. Which is why a person can be poor and be happy, can be rich and miserable etc, etc, etc. It’s not about the trappings, it’s not about the rewards, it’s about what makes you happy. And your happiness, what draws your interest, what inspires you to dream, what makes you smile for no reason, those are key indicators that you are walking your path and fulfilling your purpose.
Some people come into a life to serve and therefore finding a way to work with and for others makes them happy. And if they are doing it right, it feels like play rather than work and their focus is on keeping good boundaries on work and home and the personal. Because you can become a workaholic if your work feels like play. You need to play/play as well. 🙂
Some people are here to figure out that the world isn’t as bad as their parents/situation growing up taught them. Some are here to figure out that they shouldn’t sweat the small stuff and its all small stuff. Some are here to help lead the world, others are here to explore it and still others are here to participate in it fully, sincerely, radically, authentically, and holistically. There’s no right or wrong about any of it. The point is to live it.
So if fear is holding you back from something, the seeming ‘havetos’ and ‘needtos’ are keeping you from doing what you know in your heart you should be doing, take a step back. Because there may not be a faery godmother waiting around to grant you princess status, you may not be next in line to win the lottery, but if you start moving in the direction of what makes you happy things are going to start falling into place for you. All within the framework of divine timing which means you are part of the integrated system of everything and you need to be patient while other things get on board. But rest assured, even at the very beginning where everything seems vague and theoretical, you will still be 99.99% happier for just allowing yourself to be doing something that you enjoy, even if it’s just planning what you might do. 🙂