People like to point out the harsh realities. Not because anyone is missing them or misunderstanding them, but because somehow they are more real than less harsh realities and therefore have more weight and need more recognition. Now anyone who knows me will point out that I’m no Pollyanna. I’ve never met a harsh reality that I couldn’t obsessively worry about and problem solve and try to correct at the expense of myself. In fact my friends try to head me off at the pass when I get into that mode. Thank you, one and all.
So I don’t advocate magical thinking and wishing things away or trying to say that harsh realities are just a bad mindset. Life isn’t that simple or simplistic. What I do advocate is looking at your perspective on the harsh truth which informs your actions and your choices around it. If the harsh realities are a phase in life you’re going through as you learn things/get to a goal/figure out life then you’ll act accordingly, rally your ingenuity, your resources, your allies, and possibly get some help thrown at you over the transom and things will eventually get better and you’ll be on your merry way to the next harsh reality which might be that you get the life you deserve or that you headed in the wrong direction and you need to make a course correction…etc., etc., etc……
If the harsh realities are the boogeyman, the dragons at the edge of the map which you need to avoid, if they haunt your dreams and pervade every aspect of your life, then they are no longer realities, they are the magical thinking which doesn’t do anything or get you anywhere. Because they have become the authority with sovereignty over your life and you become a victim doing whatever it takes to avoid more punishment and to survive a life of suffering. And have fun with that if that’s the magical thinking you want to employ in life. Not as fun as magically thinking you’ll win the lottery but there is less disappointment involved because I’m fairly sure that a variation of everything you fear will come to pass at some point.
So the harsh realities are very real. But they aren’t the boogeyman. At least I’ve never found them to be. Perhaps I haven’t looked hard enough. Then again, I’m not into magical thinking so I’ll let someone else explore that realm of possibility. I’m off to deal in less harsh realities like how to shop for Christmas in a way that doesn’t involve the Mall. 🙂
