Some people wear fear goggles or put on beer goggles…one of these is more fun than the other but both do the same thing, they skew what the person sees and how they interpret what they are seeing. Beer goggles make everything funnier, people prettier, and the person wearing them seem more intelligent and the life of the party. Fear goggles turn everything into a threat or part of a threat or a conspiracy or set off the alarm bells to have the person wearing them go looking for the threat.
Need goggles are very similar. They make everything that a person sees and interacts with connected with, influenced by, associated with or having the same needs as that person. This can cause them to see everything as about them, related to them, or twist things around so it is about them. It can cause the person to change the meanings of things so that they fit into the narrative they have about themselves and their neediness. It can bolster that neediness if it’s part of their identity. Need goggles can actively filter out not only all input or interactions that are positive and not connected with the need, but also any which seek to solve the need. For instance, the person could feel that they need a significant other, but at the same time be rejecting people who meet that criteria and are interested because the person doesn’t actually want to give up their identity as needing a significant other, while at the same time expending tremendous energy dating.
Need goggles keep people from relating honestly with others because they see life through the narrow focus of their own needs and wants and issues. Even with the best intentions they can’t get past this perspective because they can’t see anyone any other way. Removing the goggles is a choice and sometimes a challenging or even frightening one. If you have worn goggles long enough to have become habituated to them it can feel as if what you see is the factual world. Taking the blinders off not only exposes the world, it exposes them as well. What goggles are you wearing?
