Just doing something doesn’t mean you’re getting anywhere. Just ask a hamster if you’re confused about that. Going to the gym doesn’t mean you’ll lose weight, going to the mall doesn’t guarantee you’ll get the right thing, and meditating doesn’t mean that you’ll reach enlightenment or even find yourself. (BTW…you’re sitting there meditating. So you’re found. You’re welcome.)
I’ve had clients who after decades of therapy find that they have entrenched issues they’ve never touched and which they need to work through in therapy!!! What the??? The response is usually, “But I did that!” Nope, you worked on everything else and I’m betting that if you checked in with yourself truthfully or even asked your therapist(s) to give an honest opinion they would point out how much avoidance you were using throughout the entire process.
I have clients who go through the motions of doing what they know will open doors for them, but they do it intellectually, like a scientist working through thick gloves on an object inside a box. They are so removed from the actions that they don’t get the benefit, but they have results to show for their efforts. Too bad what was necessary was to be hands on and to get dirty. Better luck next time?
Healing and growth and becoming sometimes require getting out of our head, letting go of control, putting ourselves fully into the process and heading in our best guess direction for the next point of harbor or the next rest station. Analysis will come later when we’ve caught our breath and had a chance to recover. So step down off the wheel. I know it’s comforting and it feels like you’re getting somewhere, but let’s trade in comfort for progress. You don’t even have to work as hard. Just start walking….
