If I wanted oblique references to things I’d talk with a politician. If I wanted spin I’d talk to a car salesman. If I wanted to be passively aggressively encouraged to do something, I’d take in more advertising. Mean what you say and say what you mean, not that you have to be mean about it. I prefer honesty, even if it’s rough, to all the time wasted with excuses and explanations, the smoke and mirrors which actually mean something other than what you’re saying.
Part of the spiritual life, the examined life, is learning to be honest with yourself. Honesty with others spills out of that and it gets way easier when you’re clear about what is going on inside yourself. Wanting to connect with others? Go out and do it. Want people to come connect with you? Invite them in with that clear intention. Want to share something with someone else? Offer it. Want to go do something? Go do it? Want someone to go with you? As them directly to do that. Hinting at things like this get’s you pretty much nowhere once you’re passed 5 years old.
Don’t make what you want seem like it’s a gift someone else should give you. It’s manipulative and twists the connection between you both making the energy, the interaction, and possibly the relationship icky. What you want probably isn’t anything out of bounds or wrong so be honest. Yes, that can make you vulnerable, but to be in a relationship with someone (friendship, romantic, family) means being vulnerable. How can anyone love you for who you are if they don’t know who that is and you won’t show them?
Just for today say what you mean and if you don’t know what you mean, don’t say anything until you do. You’ll be surprised at how empowering it is.
