I often hear or read where people are wanting us to love each other more and that will counter act or even negate the anger that is occurring in the world. If we just loved more, then anger wouldn’t exist. I don’t understand where that notion comes from because if you’ve ever been a parent or a pet owner you know first hand that you can love someone or something dearly and still be filled with rage over something they did or didn’t do, said or didn’t say. You can love someone deeply and still feel angry at them. In fact, it is because of love that we feel anger. Love of self, love of something, love of someone makes us attached to it/them/us, care for and about it/them/us, and feel angry about/for it/them/us.
In fact, trying to love more in the face of anger is like trying to stop a stove fire by smothering it in kerosene. Yes, you’re acting with the best of intentions, but intentions don’t mean much when you’ve misunderstood the nature of the fire and the nature of your remedy. So stop, drop and roll on the love and anger thing. It’s helpful to look at things from a different perspective.
As I wrote yesterday, anger is healthy and appropriate depending on the situation. And in most cases anger isn’t the issue, our reactions and actions in response to anger are. Trying to substitute love for anger is actually an unloving act because it seeks to take something which is healthy within us and say that it is somehow wrong and that it needs to change. It doesn’t. Like all emotions anger is a storm which does not stay. It moves and shifts and dissipates once the event it done. It doesn’t need to be medicated or mediated any more than a rain cloud. Time will take care of it. What we need to do is pay attention to is that we respond appropriately to the storm. Small amount of drizzle? Put up your hood. Rain? Hat and coat or umbrella. Hurricane? Get into the storm cellar. (Please have a storm cellar or know where one is close by.) Flooding? Get to higher ground.
Anger isn’t bad, what we do about it is. Trying to love it away makes things worse, not better. So act in a loving way by accepting the anger. In accepting that we have been angered, we can better understand ourselves, any underlying issues which need to be addressed and so lead a healthier and more balanced life.
