“How come other people are able to follow their path so easily and I have to struggle so hard?” “How come other people get what they want without trying and I’m still stuck?” “How come other people are lucky and I’m not?” “How come….”
First, stop comparing. Everyone’s journey is different and yours won’t look like any other. Second, the question points to the fact that you either know what you should be doing in order to get where you want to be and just don’t want to do it or you are missing something that you should be doing in order to get there. Third, it’s one in a million that the person you are envying didn’t work to get where they are. Don’t believe the marketing schlock and the hype. Most people work very, very hard to become ‘instantly famous’ or have ‘the life they dreamed of’ and they just aren’t talking about that part or your haven’t asked them. Most people asking that question either don’t know the envied person’s story or are ignoring the work it took for them to achieve that life.
Plus there is often times a lot of work involved in living that life. If you’re doing it right the work is fun and therefore makes you happy so you enjoy doing it. It feels like play, makes you want to get up in the morning, and fills your soul. So it is no longer a ‘four letter word’ that you spit out in conversation or wearily use to explain why you have to do something responsible instead of something fun. So it’s not that they aren’t working, they probably are, they just like what they do and take care of themselves so they can do it for a long time.
So if you feel yourself asking ‘How come…’ stop and change the question to ‘How did they…’ Because you can have your best life, but not if you aren’t willing to put effort into getting there and not if you are looking to co-opt the life of someone else. Live your own, be inspired by others, and build community through shared experience and connection. Then perhaps you can become someone who mentors others when they say “How come…”
