There are lots of ways to dump something on someone else. “Here’s the laundry *whump* now fold it.” “Honey, I just said ‘yes’ to so-and-so’s party. We need to bring something, but I know you can figure that out.” “I just agreed that our team can take on this goal and make it in half the time that they projected. It will take a commitment from all of you to work long hours with no overtime, but together we can do this. Go team!”
We’ve all been dumped on before. It’s never fun and it’s rarely productive other than in the area of revenge cold or otherwise. But there is another kind of dumping which most people don’t recognize and that’s conversational dumping. There are two kinds of conversational dumping: Offensive or Defensive. Offensive dumping is when someone knows there’s a subject that is controversial, that’s an elephant in the room, that could use a good airing or is just going to create drama that is going to be entertaining to them so they broach the subject to you in a way that makes the hot potato yours. They go on the offensive, open up the subject before anyone else can, but make sure that you’re holding the ball and have to head towards the end goal/net/hoop with it if you’re going to make any kind of positive out of it. It looks like a good thing but basically you just got dumped on. *whump*
The other is defensive and happens not only in person but even more so online. It even has a literary term “monolog.” In this case the person talking doesn’t connect with the other person or people receiving the information. The individual recipient of the information doesn’t matter, just the expression of information. In fact, back and forth interaction would be considered a rude interruption of the flow. This can seem like conversation because it is expression and appears as if it’s being directed at the other people around, but really all that is needed from the audience is the appearance of listening. This type of dumping is usually identifiable by being a list of things the person did recently that are facts requiring no acknowledgement at all, somewhat like a laundry or To Do list. The speaker is dumping things they need to say on others, will feel better, feel validated once the information is out and has been acknowledged by another person, but comment is unwelcome and once the list has been dumped, the subject is closed. Being dumped on this way can be confusing because it feels as if a conversation has happened, but instead a monologue of details has been handed to you with no direction as to what to do with it and the vague feeling that you’ve been used and dismissed.
Monologues are best kept to literature and speeches, dumping is better when it’s a delivery of material you ordered, we all have to deal with the presents the neighbor’s dog leaves, but we don’t have to deal with the social leavings of those we care about or are related to. If dumping occurs first extricate yourself from the pile. Step away from it. It’s not the pile but the pilee that deserves reaction or not. Because sometimes the best way to deal with being dumped on is to walk away. It wasn’t yours to begin with and you’re not required to deal with it.
