Patience. That’s the best thing I can recommend at this point. Unless you’re driving out of a metropolitan area between 1am and 4am there will be traffic and you will be in the middle of it (physics and statistics not withstanding. This is a magical season, after all). So be patient. I know that they guy just cut you off, they are driving too slow/fast, going the wrong way on a one way street, stopping at stop signs that don’t exist and ignoring the ones that do, slowing down and stopping on the yellow while speeding through a red. I get it that they are making parking spots where none exist, taking the spot you were waiting for, speeding at 50 mph in the parking lot heading straight for grandma who is throwing tacks in the way just to get those dang-nabbit speeders to slow down.
I know that you have just enough time to run like an olympic sprinter to the next gate to meet your flight but you didn’t practice hurdles and so can’t get past the two lovebirds who have taken up the entire people mover and you want to body check the Mother of 5 who is texting while drinking a latte and ignoring her children who are an invading nation taking over the entire waiting area screeching loudly, spreading cheese stuff and sticky stuff all over everyone and everything. I know that you can’t deal with one more tiny package of peanuts, there is no leg room, your neighbor’s carry-on almost became a weapon of mass destruction when you opened the overhead to get your headphones and you don’t want to pay $50 for a small package of cheese and crackers (Exact change is appreciated. Thank you). And what would happen if the people in the exit rows don’t feel up to performing their duties? Oh crap, we’re delayed while people move seats and now we’re going to need jet packs to get to our connection. What was I thinking?
Just be patient. Remember that this is just one moment in time. This will pass. And none of us want to spend what little money we have left bailing you out of jail. And can someone get those tacks away from Grandma before she causes and accident? Thanks.
