I listen to people…intelligent people…common sensical people…tell me all the details of who their partner is, what they think what they believe in technicolor detail. They tell me exactly what their beloveds won’t approve of, agree with, or support in any way, then tell me that’s exactly how they present things all the time. Then…
I know it seems self-evident but it’s worth mentioning. It is contradictory to sacrifice yourself for your path. If there is no you then there is no path. If the point is for you to achieve the goals you set for yourself, to live a happy and fulfilled life, and to bring your gifts into…
One of the hardest things to do is change your mind. Not about one particular thing or one particular opinion, but actually change it. Change how it functions. Change how it perceives things, change the assumptions it uses, change the habits it’s built as shortcuts, change the hardwired foundational pieces which we lean on to…
Nobody likes being used. It leaves us with a sick feeling. It’s like finding your car’s been broken into or someone got into your house. Things that you valued have been taken, boundaries have been violated. We feel unsafe and unsure of ourselves. How could this have happened? But what if we’re the user? We…
So it’s the first of May (There’s a great song about that by Jonathan Coulton that is NSFW but you can look it up on Youtube). For me, I’m reveling in the culmination of 5 years work to create a backyard oasis. The pink rose that the developers managed not to destroy has become a…
“The only think I know for certain is that I could be wrong.” – Martha Beck I sometimes have clients that are just sure they know a thing about themselves, about how they work in the world, about the meaning of something that happens to them time and again, and about who they are because…
by Martha Beck: Steering by Starlight: The Science and Magic of Finding Your Destiny “Story fondlers are chockablock full of disappointment and anger about the bad things that are present in their lives and the good things that are absent. By talking about this constantly, they get help and sympathy from others. This affords them…
There’s a difference between experiencing love for someone and making love a product that you direct at that person. Loving someone should be a nurturing, nourishing thing because it is a feeling within you that is complete. It’s like a complete sentence in and of itself. The love you feel for your child, for your…
Willpower is an amazing thing to have. It helps us get through situations where the high road isn’t what we want to take, but we know it’s for the best so we exert to align everything in us to make that happen. Willpower is usually a skill of the mind as in mind over matter,…
Most people think of conversations as what we say. They think that what they express is through words, through speaking, through talking it out. There’s the printed word as well. Words on the screen, on the page, on the wall. Meaning comes through saying what we mean and meaning what we say. Whether we’re talking…