We humans are social creatures. We’re meant to belong in a variety of ways. We have connections to our family of origin and make new ones by marriage and by having children. We create community through our friends and our families of choice. We join groups, meet others who share our interests, have geographic connections to schools, neighborhoods, and cities. We are connection machines and these connections flex and change and end and begin in every minute of every day.
But that doesn’t mean we’re good at the whole process or that things always go right or go well. Some people spend their entire lives attempting to connect with their family of origin only to find that the family refuses anything other than a dysfunctional connection. Some struggle with the fact that one or both parents is unable to connect, doesn’t love them, is abusive, is absent. This missing connection can be so influential that is bleeds into every other connection they have and the choices they make in other areas of their life. Some people seek connection on an even grander scale by becoming noticed, become famous, being seen and known to the wider community. They look to be validated for being special.
There are people who seek connection with something more, something beyond themselves. They seek to know that they are special, that they have meaning, to be validated by their connection to something beyond this limited world. This need leads people to connect with gurus, with spiritual authorities, with those who proclaim to know and be the purveyor of the truth. These types of connections can, like family connections, be fruitful and supportive, nurturing and life-giving. They are also prone to dysfunction, manipulation, and abuse. Like any position of power or authority, it is the responsibility of the person in that position to not turn the process into a personal gain machine. Each individual has power and authority over their selves and it is their responsibility to maintain their sovereignty and not abuse it by giving it away to others, to not follow blindly, to ignore common sense and the facts, to examine everything they are told to do and believe, and to find their paths for themselves. Take what they need and leave the rest and if things aren’t working, to just plain leave.
Being connected starts with being. Everyone is special, but only you can be you. Please be you so we can be blessed with all that you are, which we are not. That’s where true connection begins.
