The Future Present

Written language allows us to freeze moments in time.  It creates history as a dead thing, static facts accreting like coral, the bones of the dead building structure for the living. Written language, recorded history changes our experience of the past, altering our perception of the now, and warping our relationship with the future. If…

Boundaries Vs. Ego

In the spiritual community it is not uncommon for someone to be called out for “being in their ego.” This phrase has its origins in psychotherapy all the way back to Freud and the various parts of the mind. It was necessary, neutral, and like many things in life, only caused negative ramifications when it…

The Forgiveness Trap

This is from Dr. Susan Forward’s book Toxic Parents but if you substitute “person” for parent it’s easy to see that this applies to most cases of hurt and harm no matter what the situation or relationship. “One of the most dangerous things about forgiveness is that it undercuts your ability to let go of…

The First Step of the Path

Each of us has a path.  A way of living our life practically in this world that allows our bodies/hearts/minds to harmonize with our soul.  We dub it ‘authenticity’ and some people seek it forever as if it’s somewhere ‘out there’ and needs to be found.  But like Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ, the…

Connection

I was reading something today that suddenly brought things into focus: “Fire qi is the full expression of Wood’s vision. Fire brings forth the rose, lays the paint on the canvas, and gives voice to the song that’s been forming in the depths of your heart. “Fire is intense, passionate, and calls forth our need…

We Teach Our Own Lessons

There is a difference between experiencing a sequence of events around excessive heat (someone turns the oven on and leaves it over night, the thermostat goes all out rather than turning things off, the car overheats suddenly and you’re stuck by the side of the road, someone puts Habaneros in the salad by mistake) and…

Manipulation & Responsibility

Manipulative people are those who try to get other people to do what they want, sometimes without the person knowing they are being manipulated, but not always. This can be because they don’t want to do the thing themselves, they don’t want to be responsible for the consequences, they don’t want to expend the necessary…

Essentials Are Not Self Care

It’s funny to me how skilled people can be at ignoring the obvious. Their lives can be in ruins all around them, their marriage functional only in name, career no longer anything but an exercise in futility and repeated self-abuse, personal life long ago sacrificed to perceived needs and defunct goals and yet they turn…