Balancing

Somewhere along the way our notion of balance becomes about stillness.  That balance is about perfect measures bringing everything to a point where nothing moves. It’s the essence of perfection, to be perfectly balanced in a stillness that proves everything is exactly equal, measured, compared, in exacting relationship to each other. Yet nothing could be…

There’s Truth and then There’s Fact

It can be very confusing when people’s actions say one thing and their words say another. They say that they want to work things out, but they take no steps to work through anything. They say they are putting everything they have into the relationship, but each day there is less and less relationship there…

Ending the Cycle

There comes a point where the stories are worn thin, then justifications are no longer talismans, and the words are ashes in your mouth. There comes a point where there is nothing left but you. What happened when you were a child happened.  Whether it’s been validated or not, it’s your truth now that no…

Hang On

Sometimes the best we can do is just hang on. Instead of a beautiful even braid of intention and action, healing and boundaries what you get is a tangled ball of old behaviors and new, old boundaries and new which are so inextricably knotted it can seem impossible to separate them. What seemed clear before…

Behaving is Believing

It is one of the hardest truths: “When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.” – Maya Angelou  It’s not hard to understand, but it can be so very hard to actually follow through with. We can end up in negative situations for years and even decades because we ignore the…

Ways to Transform

When people think about transformations they think of caterpillars or butterflies.  That’s the romantic ideal that people really like.  That they live one life and then become something all together different, better, free, etc.  There’s so much symbolism in it and yet it also betrays our assumptions.  I mean, caterpillars are fabulous all on their…

Mother’s Who Can’t Love

Not everyone has a mother that is loving, supporting, or even caring. Some have mothers that are absent, dysfunctional or abusive.  This makes Mother’s Day a very difficult time because they are being asked to honor and celebrate someone who is a negative in their lives at a very deep level.  For everyone who struggles…

The NonNegotiables

It’s funny how people will work so hard to achieve something, actually do it, and only then realize that it’s completely wrong for them. Not because they chose wrong, but because they absolutely ignored, misunderstood, or misrepresented things which were absolutely necessary for the success of the project.  This is a common occurence when people…