So many people have difficulty with asking for help for one reason or another. Which, to my mind, is somewhat sad. It’s one thing to not get help when you need it and are asking for it, but it’s another to not ask for it or accept it when it is offered, which are two sides of the same coin.
We all know people who refuse to ask for help when they really need it. I’m one of them so I know a little about this. There’s pride involved as well as just not wanting to hassle with everything it takes to work with other people when it would be so much faster just to do it yourself even if the result isn’t as good. However, usually it’s best to ask for help, and accept help when it’s offered. We’re not islands and alla that and, crazy enough, if you aren’t someone who constantly needs help with everything, most of the people around you actually enjoy helping you because it allows them to feel needed and wanted and valuable in your life. Go figure. 🙂 I’ve been independent most of my life and so I’m still working on asking for help, but I seem to be getting better at it.
There are those who refuse help when it is offered. Again, there’s the pride thing, but this also comes from being stubborn or not wanting to feel vulnerable or in debt to someone. It is a hard, cold, lonely place to be when you can’t accept help. As human beings we are social animals and interdependent. So the give and take of helping each other is necessary and if you can’t allow that to happen, you are missing out.
To my mind the worse mix of it all are those who ask for help and then just sit there. Or they just keep asking for help over and over and over again. Help comes but they ignore it and keep asking. Or help comes and they just sit there. Help is not a magic wand that makes everything better, it’s at least one other person there to share the load, to provide inspiration, expertise, or just the experience of it all as you go through it. If you don’t reach out to accept the help, then there was no point in asking for it. If you just sit there then there isn’t a lot that help can do for you. As the joke says, you can have faith in God to help you win the lottery, but God really needs you to buy the lottery ticket.
So ask for help, then accept it when it comes. That’s when magic can happen.
