“Don’t drive angry” is a phrase I keep on stand by not for use with road rage, because at this point it’s not something that can be avoided, it’s just something to be dealt with, like taxes. What I mean by that is stop and calm down for a minute. It’s good to be in the now, but there is a point where you are too much in the now and you need to withdrawn within and deal with the emotions before you act. Or take the emotions elsewhere and act on them in a constructive way.
Being frustrated, hurt, angry these are all normal emotions and they are healthy in that they point to things in our lives that are not working and help us to see more deeply who we are and where we need to put our attention and our effort to make things better. And a reaction in the moment is also normal and most of the time healthy. It’s what happens after that moment which is a choice and to some extent it should be conscious. What do we do with what we are feeling? The feelings can motivate us to help in the situation, can leave us feeling attacked and vulnerable therefore cause us to defend ourselves or withdraw, or can leave us feeling the need to attack in retribution so that things can feel equal.
And what happens if the feelings linger? What if the person or situation that caused the feelings isn’t around anymore? But you still feel this way? What do you do? And what happens when other people come around? How do you deal with them? It’s all in the day of an interconnected human being. The choice to hold it in, let it out, figure it out later, stew in it etc, etc. How do you handle it? Is that working for you or is it making just another problem that needs to be resolved? How can you handle it differently? If you hold it in how can you let it out constructively? If you withdraw can you find the courage to stand your ground and speak out? If you speak out in the moment, can you find the strength to keep from speaking and listen to yourself then act from a conscious place? Whatever you do, “don’t drive angry”, stand still for a moment, breath, then make a choice and move forward.
