It can be very confusing when people’s actions say one thing and their words say another. They say that they want to work things out, but they take no steps to work through anything. They say they are putting everything they have into the relationship, but each day there is less and less relationship there and it seems like only one person is making any effort. They talk about how much they care and how much you mean to them, all the while they are doing less and less with/around/for you. Until one day it is too much. There is one last argument, one last infraction, one last straw and you say its over. Then comes the gut wrench because they go “Ok” and move on with their life, which they had an entire new form of just waiting for the moment you left.
The thing is, everything they said was the truth. In the Dune series various powers work to make sure their plans are carried out, people are assassinated, but never by their own hands so that if/when they are interrogated by the Emperor’s Truthsayer, they can honestly say they had no hand in the deeds. It will not be factual, but it will be the truth. They will be honest when they say it. However, this isn’t something made up for a science/fiction series, it’s something they dressed up to seem futuristic. It happens all the time. Like the lover who states categorically that they don’t love you, even though their actions show clearly that they do. They are stating their truth, planting the seed so that when the end the relationship, which they know they will, they can then point to that seed and say “see, I never lied to you.” Which they didn’t. They simply kept the facts safe, kept their vulnerability to a minimum, worked to have their cake and their freedom too.
In spiritual community people equate honesty with the truth and truth with fact. Unfortunately these things don’t always walk hand in hand. People can be truthful without expressing all the facts, can be honest while withholding their motivations, can be on their path without showing you all that the path entails. People are complex. They are tapestries in motion and while their goals my be simple, how they express and work towards them rarely is. Listen to their words, but also listen to what is not said. They watch their actions because they will point you towards the facts in the matter.
