In most cases being dependable is a good thing. Being consistently what you’re supposed to be, the way you’re supposed to be it, doing the things you say you’ll do, these are all really great things in a world of constant change. Of course, I tend to point out that dependability cuts both ways because things can be dependably broken, unable to do what they are supposed to do, and fail at exactly the worst moment. Like printers, for instance. You can depend on them to give you an error message just at the moment when it all hangs on having those copies in your hands. *sigh*
However, we as human beings are uncomfortable with the changeable, uncontrollable nature of the world which makes us afraid and so seek to create stability, safety, and the illusion of control through dependability. If we can depend on things, if they are consistent and seemingly unchanging over time, then we feel better and more able to handle the world. To achieve this we are often willing to give up opportunities for careers that will make us happy and instead go into soul crushing fields and positions which dependable returns. We will sacrifice personal freedom in order to have a dependable living situation, marrying for money or access or lifestyle rather than for a viable personal connection. We choose to stay close to home, never try to excel at anything, be too good at anything, or take any chances that might lead us out of our comfortable box. We will choose relationships which are comforting, unchallenging, bland but loving because our partner is the one person we can depend on, even if they don’t know who we truly are and we end up living only half a life.
We bargain for what is safe, reliable and dependable. Then wonder why our life feels empty or hollow, why we chafe at never being able to move forward, at never having what we really want or being able to live up to our potential. Dependability is neither good nor bad in itself, but how we apply it, how we utilize it in our lives has consequences. It’s not an either or proposition. We needn’t chuck the old life, quit our jobs and go start on our bucket list, but if we want to start expanding our boundaries to encompass more of what our soul is yearning for, we might want to consider how securely we’ve bound ourselves with dependable structures.
