It’s funny how people feel the need to explain why they have spent the day the way they have. I’m not talking about those who are bragging while trying to seem not to brag. Bleh. No I mean your every day person who decides to explain why they did something other than work hard and crank out services or products or meetings or coffee (Ummm….coffee) or whatever it is they do. These conversations or posts usually have the “I just…” like “I just lazed around all day” or “I just couldn’t be bothered so I ate ice cream straight from the container” or “I binge watched *insert show here* for 18 straight hours” or whatever it is that they did. Yes, we want to spread the news about who we are and what is going on with us, but this compulsive need to explain why we “just” did something really needs to go.
Underneath the “just” of having a day which isn’t about going petal to the metal to do whatever we need to do to pay the rent, be on our path, fulfill our dreams, have the best career ever, do everything we want to do all at once is judgement. There is judgement in the not doing. There is judgement because we get too identified with what we are doing and forget that the reason we do all this is to be and that to be we need to let be and just be. Or in corporate speak, all the work that is happening is supposedly so we can have a life, but we feel guilty living because it doesn’t contribute to the working. There is judgement that if we don’t ‘splain why we are not working we will be one of those bragging people and no one wants to be one of those. Bleh. There’s judgement that others will judge us let alone that the critical judges we carry around in our head will start shouting at us about being slackers.
So even if we’re working our dream job, walking our path, doing what we’ve always wanted and headed in the right direction, we’re still not living the life we want to have because ever time we get even a few hours of that we start to feel the need to ‘splain. There are always great reasons why we’re actually enjoying a day that is completely for us and our loved one doing things we love and deserve to do. The thing is, we shouldn’t need to ‘splain to ourselves or anyone else why we are partaking in them. We shouldn’t feel the compulsion to ‘splain how much of it we’re doing, how it’s taking us away from all the doing, how we are feeling spoiled and coddled, but we’ll get back to real life tomorrow. This is our real life. We’ve earned it, we deserve it, and we should expect it. So should everyone else. Work/life balance, blah, blah, blah. Before you balance, you have to admit that you are entitled to have a life. Then you need to decide or feel out what that would be. Then stick up for it both against people who might judge (probably fewer than you think) and against your doing self.
