Well, you don’t. It’s kinda this weird cause and effect thing. If you don’t want things to change, then you don’t have to change at all. Oh, but you do? Then you have to change. But there’s nothing wrong with you, you’ve done it all right and it’s everything else that’s garbage? Oh, ok. So you don’t change like you haven’t been changing and then we’ll see how that goes…Well, you can see how that goes. I’m gonna get some more changes made in my life so I can keep moving forward….
LOL. Ok, enough snide for the moment. The point is that if you want a different outcome, do things differently. Want to stop having to do things to fit everyone else’s expectations? Then stop. Need to work differently? Then do. Want a good relationship in your life? Start having one with yourself. Want to be less lonely, stop treating yourself like a pariah. You’re good company and the more you enjoy yourself the more you have to share, the more people want to be around you. Until there are too many people who want to be around you and then you have an opposite problem and then the pendulum swings and hopefully you find a nice middle.
Now, I’m not saying just try something else, which is fine and feel free, but just trying stuff randomly or less than randomly isn’t the point. If you want the trajectory of your life to change without some random occurrence doing it for you, then you have to change who you are. You have to change how you operate in the world. Because the common denominator of your life is you. You are a choice making machine every day. You base most of those choices on assumptions and that’s some of the easiest areas to change, and the hardest to get to. I mean, who actually pays attention to their assumptions? They aren’t assumptions, their facts right? Well, no. Here’s a hint: if there is something in your life with an absolute like “everyone”,”no one”, “always”, or “never” then that’s a place to start changing. Because life isn’t absolute and we use these words to make an assumption about life sound like fact. So take off the absolute duct tape and start looking at what you’ve been using to make choices. It might be time for some renovation.
