Continuing to enjoy Brene Brown. From I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
From page 111:
Critical awareness also requires us to question this notion of blaming the victim. In particular, some pop psychologists preach that “There is no such thing as reality, just perception.” Not only is this inaccurate, it’s dangerous. Racism is real, domestic violence is real, homophobia is real. The economics of divorce are real.
When you tell people their situation is only “perception” and they can change it, you shame them, belittle them, and in the case of domestic violence, you put them in extreme physical danger. Rather than dismissing someone’s experience as perception, we might want to ask, “How can I help?” or “Is there some way I can support you?”
It might be accurate to say that we all see things differently, but the world trades in both reality and perception. Try paying your mortgage with paper you perceive as money, or try walking out of the store with that Kate Spade bag and telling the police, “It matches my shoes so I perceive it’s mine.”
