I’m still digging Brene Brown and her work with Shame. Here’s a good one from I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t)
Page 88:
“I came up with the term shame screen after analyzing data from the first hundred interviews. As women explained the unpredictable and sometimes unconscious ways they reacted in response to shame, I realized the experiences shared something in common – when we are in shame we are often overcome with the need to hide or protect ourselves by any means possible. As I thought about our protective reactions to shame, I kept envisioning smokescreens – the canisters of dense smoke used by the military to hide their activities from the enemy.
Unfortunately, shame screens don’t work. We’re not dealing with tanks and infantry behind enemy lines; we’re dealing with people and relationships. Wouldn’t it be great if we could just carry those canisters on our belts and when someone hurt our feelings, shamed us or made us angry, we could just whip out our canister of thick smoke, launch it and run? Or we could even just stand there, behind the wall of smoke, and make rude gestures. Please. I’d order them by the case if I thought they’d work. Unfortunately, we can’t do that. The reality is that when we throw up the same screen, we’re usually the ones who end up choking on the smoke.”
