Sometimes I’m talking with a client and realize how inadequate language is as a tool for
Absolute
communication. I swear, interpretive dance may seem ludicrous, but it’s probably more effective than some conversations I get into. Because words are symbols and some people imbue them with one absolute meaning and assume that everyone else believes or agrees with them about that meaning and form whole conversations accordingly.
Which makes the experience somewhat like being in a car with someone who doesn’t slow down for major speed bumps. You’re talking along and *sproing*….ok as I was saying *sproing*…no what I meant was *sproing* oh dear gawd…. For instance, you’re going along talking about parents and children and how the relationship changes when the children grow up and out of the blue the other person says that all nursing homes are storage facilities for dying people where the attendants are underpayed and torture the residents. *sproing* Um…no…ok…where were we…ahem…
This shows up a lot around money and relationships. Absolute assumptions such as males and females can’t be friends and if they are someone is caretaking someone else. Or that money only comes through have a regular business and grinding out 9-5 and working really hard, possibly 80 hours per week. Or that having the kind of life you want to live only happens after you retire, which means that you won’t live long enough to enjoy it. Or that if you’re in your mid-30’s your life is pretty much over and this is as good as it gets. Or that you can’t have a loving spouse and family if you’re over 40. Or that you can’t have the career you’ve always wanted because you didn’t start working towards it when you were 20 something and now it’s too late.
Absolutes and assumptions are insidious because words and thoughts have power and they not only reflect but structure the world we live in by guiding our actions and choices. 
If we believe these things are true then we act accordingly. Self fulfilling prophecies one and all. But if absolutes were true and not the exception to the rule in life, then we wouldn’t look so much towards Karma to make things come out right, we wouldn’t need lawyers, advocates, mediators, therapists, psychologists, judges, or even politicians. Things would just be “that way” and we could rely on them. It taint so, though. And the sooner we can let go of the need for things to be absolute, the sooner we sniff out our assumptions about things and release them, the sooner our journey through life will smooth out. Which would be nice not only for us, but for those along for the ride. 🙂
